I’m not slow, I have arthritis.

I do this every time. I say I’ll go back to blogging more regularly, and then weeks, months, a millennia pass and still, no new blog posts.

So. What’s been going on?

Lots! But where do I begin? Logic says starts at the beginning but that’s easier said than done! I’ll break it down in to sections.

Running

I returned to mass participation running!

First up, The Great Aberdeen Run 10k.

Aberdeen is not a city suited for a great run. It’s no Edinburgh or Glasgow that’s for sure. There is little more disheartening than running in the rain through Aberdeen harbour. If you know Aberdeen then you’ll know the harbour, like most I suppose, is hardly picturesque. Crowds were non-existent away from Union Street and I didn’t know how grim it would be to run through the Mounthooly underpass. Turns out. Very.

 

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Anyway I digress. I ran (kind of) a 10k and I didn’t die. My left knee started to hurt at 3k and I blistered pretty badly on a foot, but I did it. Yay. And I beat my verrrry slow target time by 3 minutes so every cloud.

This followed a fortnight later by The Great North Run.

I love the Great North Run. Geordie blood running through my veins, you’re hard pressed to find a better crowd.

I’ve never eaten so well during a run. The usual suspects, jelly babies and haribo, featured heavily. But I also enjoyed 6 ice poles (ice pops? I don’t know), a strawberry split, biscuits, handfuls of celebrations and lots of grapes. I may be the only person to finish a run heavier than they started.

The Great North Run was the first race that I completed after my diagnosis. I had hoped then to make a decent time but I failed. So this race I was adamant I was going to not only better that previous time, but I was going to make the target time!

Turns out not only did I not make my target time…I was actually 5 minutes slower than the initial time I was so upset with! But hey that’s life! That’ll teach me to set targets for races that I haven’t trained for!

Body felt battered and bruised but 8 days later and I’m pretty much back to normal. My knee was heavily strapped and held out and I was a bit sore muscle wise but that’s because compared to my old self I’m terribly unfit.

Where to from here?

As a Great Run member, I already have a place for next year’s Great North Run, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll train for this one and actually make the target time I’ve never managed to achieve broken bodied. I’ll find out in a few weeks if I’ve gotten a place for next year’s London marathon. I’m hoping as well to take on my first ever cycling event, Ride London next year. I feel like my ability to continue running is coming to end. Whilst I can talk about not wanting to beat times and how I’m grateful just for the opportunity to run, I’m starting to realise I miss the old Runner Rebecca. I’m not her anymore. I’m never going to make the 110 minute half marathon mark I was working so hard towards. And maybe I’m finally ok with this, with running less and less, to the point where it becomes something I used to do. I know I have a few more half marathons left in me, and one more full marathon, and after that….maybe I’ll be done.

 

Health

I guess the biggest thing to have happened over the last few weeks is that I got the green light for my toe straightening surgery!!!!

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I went in to the appointment expecting it to be just the one toe but my amazing consultant gave the green light to have all three toes done! So two on the left foot, one on the right. I’ve never been under general anesthetic before so I’m sure in the days leading up to it I’ll be my usual dramatic self, fearing the worst! The good news is that the operation (mid November) falls after my next holiday to France. The bad news is that it falls just a few weeks before my trip to The Netherlands, so I’m looking forward to experiencing Holland for the first time in a wheelchair! I know that may sound a bit OTT but I’m not sure how well I’m gonna shuffle on crutches with both feet out of action. Jack is less keen for this idea but we both know that there is no better place for me to be ‘disabled’ then The NL.  Am I looking forward to 6-8 weeks off of work recovering? YOU BET I AM!! So many people saying to me that I’ll get bored etc etc, these people don’t know me at all. I have so many projects and tasks I can do in this time off. Which translates as will spend all day watching Real Housewives from the sofa under a blanket with the cat for company and regretting nothing.

Toes aside, I’ve been in and out of the doctors a few times over the last few weeks because cosentyx has been giving me a few tummy problems I can’t shift (we’re all friends here). My first lot of test results came back fine last week, just waiting for the second lot. We’re hoping it’s just regular IBS induced by my medication but getting tested for a million and one things just in case. Trying to remember to take my new tablets 20 minutes before meals but as a constant snacker this is easier said than done.

Mental health has been a wee bit up and down. Anxiety and panic attacks a plenty due to life feeling a bit out of control right now. But it’ll pass. I hope. Unsure right now if I need to go back on anti-depressants to try and enable me to cope again, but not feeling depressed. Is that a thing? If I go to my GP will he think that’s doable? I don’t know.

 

General Life

After two years of owning the flat, renovations are finally well under way. House is in a state of chaos but hopefully in 4 weeks the bulk of it will be done. Trying to work out what to do with it once we’re done. I can’t live here for much longer (read above re panic attacks. Unfortunately they’re flat related) but I also don’t want to sell it because I’m kind hoping to rent it out and sell it in 30 years and retire comfortably on it. But that big family home in Edinburgh aint gonna buy itself. If anybody wants to give me the money/has a house to give me (preferably in Morningside, thanks), PLEASE DO.

I’ve returned to my Open Uni studies with the hope of finally getting that PPE degree that has eluded me for so long.

I spent a lovely few days in Glasgow with my Mum and Sister to see the absolute legend that is Britney Spears, and Rachel met my sister-in-law Elizabeth and it filled my heart with joy.

I enjoyed an amazing night at the theater to see Jersey Boys (if you’ve not seen it you absolutely must) and also had a great night at the Craig Charles Funk and Soul show. The last time I attended I had only developed arthritis about 4 weeks beforehand and struggled with standing and dancing. This time? I danced so much I got so hot and sweaty you could literally wring my hair out. It was a brilliant evening and one I never thought I’d be able to enjoy with arthritis.

And that folks is that…..for now.

My next blog post will be coming this week (like buses, I know, I know) and is a very exciting one involving this girl on film.

In the meantime, send me all your wisdom for coping with anxiety but also for toe straightening surgery and what to expect post-op!

30

30.

Thirty.

Trente.

Dreißig.

Trenta.

Dertig.

Trinta.

Or, in my strange accent. Firty. (33 will be a nightmare, that’s all I’m saying).

This time last year I set out trying to complete 30 things before I was 30. Life got in the way. I like being lazy, I think I achieved 3 things. Maybe I’ll do the 30 things before I’m 90….let’s not hold our breath.

Why is 30 seen as such a watershed age? I feel like 30 is the first age that sounds like you’re supposed to be an adult. At 30 you’re supposed to have your shit together, right?

I feel ok about turning 30. Not least because I still look impossibly young (thank you filters for allowing me to believe this illusion). I was asked recently by someone at work what my secret is to not looking my age, “Not having children”, I smugly replied. That and glycolic acid. Try it out. Superdrug do a really good glycolic acid which is a great introductory to acids and for the price, do a smashing job.

https://www.superdrug.com/Naturally-Radiant/Superdrug-Natural-Radiant-Glycolic-Toner-100ml/p/729356

I digress. I could talk about acids all day but I won’t.

Am I a fully functioning adult? I suppose on paper I am. Homeowner. Great career. No financial worries. 5 foreign holidays a year. CATS PROTECTION SAID I WAS ADULT ENOUGH TO HAVE RESPONSIBILTY FOR A CAT. It doesn’t get much more adulty than having a cat.

But do I feel like an adult? Hell no. What does an adult even feel like?

For the big day itself I’m going to be spending it at Disneyland Paris with my beloved family. I can think of no other way to spend my big day. Disney clothes, Disney singing, Disney rides, Disney everything.

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By the time you read this, I’ll be 30. I’ll be enjoying spending time with my Mum, JP, my sister Rachel and her boyfriend James at Disneyland. Hopefully we’ve all stayed friends and we’ve not fallen out. After all, you can’t fall out at the happiest place on earth! As well as Disney, JP and I will be enjoying a few days in Paris, my first time. At time of writing, Belgium have just beaten Brazil in the World Cup and will be playing France when we’re there. Allez les blues!

Anyway. Back to birthdays and the fact that I am possibly almost an adult now.

When I was growing up, people always used to say that one day Rachel and I would be best friends.

I refused to believe it. I would ignore them and go back to biting chunks out of her, punching her in the face and pulling her hair. I was 18.

I’M JOKING. I was 22, she was 18. Trolololol.

That’s a tad extreme but it turns out that those people all those years ago were correct, I adore my Rachel. We speak every day and I can’t imagine life without her.

Which has got me thinking about other things I heard when I was younger that turns out, were true

  • That spot on your face you think everyone will notice? They won’t. It’s not as bad as you think. Nobody will notice
  • You are nowhere near as fat as you think. You will look back at how ‘fat’ you were at 18 and wish you were still like that
  • You will turn in to your mother. Whether you want to or not. It might be gradual, it might be sudden. But one day you will find yourself carefully putting an open cucumber in a food bag before putting it back in the fridge wondering when you became her (FYI I was 21)
  • Even though you think you’re dying, trust me, time really does heal a broken heart
  • Nobody knows what they’re doing. This applies to life, work, relationships and friendships. Everyone is winging it
  • If a man acts and says he’s unavailable, believe him and run a mile
  • Early nights really are the way forward. My parents begging me not to stay up too late. Getting told off for staying up until goodness knows what time laughing at people who go to sleep before midnight. I now consider it a late night if I’m still awake at 9pm
  • When you’re young, elders will remark “you’re so lucky you can still eat what you want and not gain weight, wait until you get older”. You’ll laugh. You’ll always be able to each 25 courses at every sitting and never gain weight. You’ll always be slender and have the taut body of a gymnast. And then you’ll turn 28. You only have to look at a cake and you’ll gain 6lbs and you’re body shape morphs more and more in to that of a potato

 

There was also a few things I was told or believed as a child that turned out not to be true:

  • My Mum always encouraged me to wave to the people on planes in the sky. It was only after I had been cabin crew for about one year did I realise this was in fact a massive lie. I was 23
  • That plucking out a grey hair means that five new ones will appear. Jokes on you all. I plucked out two and ended up with a full head of grey hair by the age of 28
  • Cracking your joints will give you arthritis. Even bigger jokes on you all. I’ve never cracked a joint in my life and look at the state of me

 

What things were you told when you were younger that turned out to be true or not to be true?

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Looking forward to writing a far more health related post on my return to Aberdeen. 5 days after I return I’m straight back to hospital for my next bout of minor surgery on my toes and as this will be my second to last trip for this procedure, I’m going to blog about it. It’s not for the faint hearted so I won’t go in to detail here but if you suffer from psoriasis, and you have it in your nails, then you’ll get my drift and hopefully my next post can be of you some use for you.

For now, I’ll say goodbye. I’ve got a date with Mickey.