So little muffins, it’s been a while since I posted anything meaningful and this post shall be no different. Meaningless.
But short by my standards though so that’s good.
All those promised blog posts are yet to materialise due to being busy catching up with my Open Uni studies (why did I think this was a good idea again?!), numerous holidays, being back to full time at work and general life getting in the way. And by general life, I mean alternating between sleeping and watching RuPauls Drag Race.
I am now 12 weeks post pin pull. The swelling around the ‘new toots’ has subsided a fair bit but is still rather puffy and a little purple. With each passing week the pain has become less, although when I have stubbed them or caught them the pain has bought me to tears. Thank god for waterproof mascara. The best worst being when I went to step into my bath, didn’t bring my foot up high enough and smashed the toes on the side of the bath. The pain taking me by surprise so much I then proceeded to fall forwards towards the bath and fell in. Double whammy of pain and water getting splashed around the bathroom like an orca doing belly flops.
I am still slowly but surely trying to increase the amount that I walk and know that I need to focus on stairs a bit more (the rolling forward of the foot with toes touching the stair, still hurts). Set myself the daily target of 7,500 steps which is easier said than done when you’re office based. I’m not confident enough to start running again on them just yet because I think they’re going to smack in to the floor with such impact they’ll break. I could be being dramatic, but I suspect I’m not. Otherwise, the toes feel generally ok. They don’t feel like they’ve been flattened, the scarring has almost totally faded and I’m used to how they look. I am still wary to try on a normal pair of shoes though because I’m not emotionally ready enough to do this. Maybe I’ll wait until I’ve had the right foot done too I can wear a pair. During the immediate weeks after the op, and a few after the pin pull, I had doubts and regrets that it wasn’t worth it. I have to believe that it has been worth it, but only time will tell. Still only wearing trainers and my doc martens though. Looking forward to wearing something different (Please, Dr Roberts, if you read this, schedule my second op in soon. I promise I’ll behave this time.)
Being full time at work is exhausting. Lots of decisions to start making with regards to staying full time, going part time or leaving work altogether. It’s only money, right? I’m having to get up from my desk and have a little walk around roughly every 20 mins to stop my body seizing up. There’s only so many times you can get a cup of coffee or go to the toilet before people start thinking you’re a caffeine addict who can’t stop weeing. There’s only so much self-delusion I can try and kid myself with before I have to admit that both of the aforementioned statements are true. Despite being caffeine intolerant. That’s why I drink it so much. It makes me nuts. Shaky and nuts.
Also think I might have carpal tunnel which is high on the list of things I could do without and also on the list of things I thought only old grannies got. Yet another example of being 30 years old with the body of a 90-year-old. Although carpal tunnel could mean an operation and operation means time off work. So I’m cool with it. Does mean I have to continue my Ali G booyakasha impression to relieve the pain though which try as I might, I can’t make it look ironic.
I’m now three cosentyx injections to the good this year and they’re finally starting to kick in. No psoriasis, no inflammation, just the occasional odd sore and stiff creaky joint which could be more to do with old age (trolol) than arthritis. Now to hit the fatigue on its head and I’ll be back to being unstoppable.
In other news:
- It’s coming up for one whole year since I ran the marathon. Still blows my mind that I completed the course and didn’t die
- Went to Sunderland for a lads weekend of football. And survived
- Enjoyed Blue Planet Live in Glasgow with friends and had the latest night I’ve had in years which was swiftly followed 4 hours later by the earliest morning I’ve had in years for….
- A flight. I went to Berlin for a week and am still undecided if I liked it or not. Food great. History great (if you like that sort of thing. Unfortunately, I am allergic to WWII and spent most of the trip queasy and sat down trying not to get too sad). Art galleries SUPER GREAT. Going during International Break and Germany playing The Netherlands in Amsterdam and Holland losing 3-2….really not great. Returning my Virgil Van Dyck shirt as we speak
- I finally came up with the premise of my novel. Now to find the motivation to write it
- General mood is alternating wildly being one of generally antipathy to life and ‘meh-ness’, a restlessness making me question if this is all my life will ever be, to one so manic I need an elephant strength tranquiliser dart to bring me back down. Unfortunately, the mania seems to come out at work which is probably the place I need to be at my most ‘meh’, much to the irritation of my new colleagues who don’t quite know what to do with me yet
- I got weighed at the doctors and am now officially overweight. Celebrated this achievement by ordering the world’s largest Chinese takeaway
- I completed my 2019 reading challenge of 15 books by the first week of April. I really need to find some friends that are people, and not books
- I’ve been shadowbanned on Instagram which is the absolute epitome of a first world problem but until this is rectified (which it bloody well better be) there is little point in publishing big new blog posts as I can’t publicise them. Which makes me wonder if I should keep the blog going. As my arthritis and general problems get better, I have less to moan write about. Do I keep it going? Do I start posting everything which I’ve been meaning to do and never have? What to do what to do?
So that’s all folks.
It’s Friday. I have a full fun packed weekend of studying ahead of me (don’t be jealous) and if I’m feeling fancy may change from one set of pjs to another.
Hope you all have a lovely pain free weekend and let me know your thoughts on if I should continue with this or not.